What is School?

I had the worst feeling after a midterm on Friday. I was so filled with fear of how bad I did on the midterm mixed with anger, I couldn't focus for the rest of the day and the worst part was that it was a morning midterm so I was forced to try and appear happy and normal when I was with friends. The only thing on my mind was get away from this place called school. I wanted to go home.

I really needed an escape from school, a retreat to recollect myself and recover from the overload of stress stemming from school. While listening to some Hawaiian music (I don't know why, but Hawaiian music always seem to calm me down) I began to ask myself what is school to me. On one hand, school can be considered a pain in the ass process that we must endure in order to receive a piece of paper that says that we have survived however many years we spent in college and are now officially "educated" citizens. On the other hand, school can be considered an amazing environment where we can learn as much as we want and whatever we want.

My views of school are more closely associated with the first view as I often find myself trying to endure classes rather than enjoy them. I am constantly stressed about my classes that thought of me enjoying what I am learning never once crossed my mind. It really bugs me that I came to college to learn, yet I hate the process of learning so far. I don't get why I pour all my effort and time to memorize things that I will only remember for a test and the moment the test is over all my efforts spent over the past few days will disappear. I have this wonderful opportunity that not everyone is blessed to have and I take it for granted. I could be learning new things about science, culture, and the English language every time I walk into a lecture. Instead I attend lectures just in case there is a random pop quiz or i-clicker question. I don't go to lectures to learn but I go for the sake of being there. I don't get why as much I try to enjoy learning I always end up disliking the process of learning even more. I am presented a wonderful opportunity to learn something new everyday and I am squandering it one second at a time. I think it's time I find a way to change my views of school so I can enjoy my remaining years here at UCI.