I was eating at Chinese restaurant the other day and when the time came for me to open my fortune cookie, I was really caught off guard by what the fortune said. The fortune said...
"You may lack the ambition, but not the ability to succeed." -Fortune Cookie
That the first time in my life a fortune cookie actually made me think. Normally the habit for me is to eat a great dinner and then at the end entertain myself with the cheesy and sometimes random fortunes from the fortune cookies. However, this time I was presented with something that really made me think about what I just read. That single quote, in some ways, has been the story of my life. I always hear about this potential that I have, but sometimes I feel like I lack the drive to do anything to help reach that potential.
So, in context with the events that are going on in my life right now, SPOP returner applications are out right now. Ever since I staffed Gold year, I have always aspired to become a returner but I feel like I'm taking a lot longer than I need to fill out my application. I think the one thing that is holding me back is not the fear of being rejected but if I can as amazing as my spmother was. I hate admitting this, but my SPOP family wasn't as nearly as cohesive as we could have been. Granted we had our moments, I felt like that a lot of our family members were MIA at times. Although, I am extremely grateful that I was able to spend time with the other returners and my own spmother and had the opportunity learn so much from them. Now that I'm thinking about it, perhaps my biggest fear is I won't be able to provide as much wisdom and knowledge to the new staffers as compared to the returners that I aspired to be like. It's just so hard for me to imagine myself as a returner because I respect them so much. Whenever I talk to them, I always end up not wanting to end the conversation because I always learn something new and they continue to impress me with their knowledge.
After thinking about the application this past hour, I think I should go through with it and if I make staff this year, I'll make sure I'll do my damn best to help pass on everything I learned from my returners to the new staffers this year.
On the side note....
CONGRATU-FREAKIN-LATIONS to Walter and Lisa on your engagement!!!!! You guys are amazing and I wish you guys the best!