The Time is Near

It's tenth week already and I'm still trying to figure out how this quarter went by so fast. I noticed that I've been a little more stressed this past week but I think the stress is the result of a culmination of things rather than my finals causing it. Perhaps the thing that is bugging me the most is the SPOP acceptance/rejection e-mail that I'm expecting.

I really, really want to be become a returner and I was blessed by the fact that I had the chance to be a staffer early in my college experience so I have one more year to try if I don't make it this year. Yet, if I was to receive the rejection letter, I wouldn't know how to react. As I expressed numerous time throughout this blog, I hold SPOP very close to my heart for a variety reasons that are very personal for me. So, if I was to be rejected I can only think that the most logical reason is I didn't meet the coords criteria for a returner. Every SPOP staff is unique in their own way and it's very evident if we were to compare them side-by-side. We'll have some similarities but not very many, so if I didn't make it this year, I simply didn't fit the vision of the coords which is perfectly fine. However, I would be lying to myself if I believed that not making returner is not a big deal. Ever since leaving the program two summers ago, the one thing I wanted to do the most before graduating was to come back to SPOP and be a returner. I owe a lot of my personal growth to the program, so I want to give back and help those who were like me discover their own potential and help them realize it. I miss helping spoppers come to learn and appreciate UCI. The whole experience of SPOP was freaking amazing for me and I really hope that I have the opportunity to do it again.

Now I just have to mentally prepare myself for the rejection because it is very possible that I get it despite how hard I wish for acceptance e-mail. However, it's important for me to realize that I was lucky enough to experience being a staffer once and that I have a bunch of people at UCI that I can call my spoppers. It's a huge blessing to have my spoppers and to be able to still talk to them as friend now. I enjoyed watching them grow these past two years at UCI and become more involved in organizations and activities. I can't wait to see what my spoppers do next and I am very proud of each and everyone of them.

I think I used this quote before but I'm going to use it again as I believe it is very appropriate for what I'm feeling right now.

"There are two ways to live your life - one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle." -Albert Einstein