Rejection

Rejection always hard to swallow especially when it's from something you love. In fact, rejection hurts a lot and there aren't many words that can properly describe it. Today I received my acceptance/rejection e-mail. I wasn't sure if I wanted to open the e-mail but I figured I should open it anyways because I'm bound to find out one way or another. When I opened it, my heart sunk because it was a short e-mail. Short e-mails always mean you got rejected from something, but I read the e-mail anyways.

I've been preparing myself for the rejection these past couple of days but for some reason this hit me a lot harder than I expected it to. I guess that subconsciously I wanted to be a returner a lot more than I realized. Granted I'm still pretty young so I'll have another shot next year but I can't help but wonder what if I don't get it next year either.

What really bugs me is I knew most of the coords but the problem with that is, well, they know me as well. So it raises the question of why did they think I wasn't ready to be a returner. That question has been bugging me a lot these past couple of minutes and I'm having a really hard time coping with it.

I won't lie and say that not getting returner wasn't a big deal to me because it is. I can't really describe how I feel right now; it's a mixture of excitement for the new staffers and returners and some sadness because I won't be able share the experience with them. Life is weird like that. However, I guess the one thing that SPOP has given me that cheered me up today is my love of dance. After reading the e-mail the only thing I wanted to do was dance because I knew it would make me feel better and it would take my mind off the rejection. So that's what I did, I drove out to the ARC and danced away my problems. Dance is the perfect fusion of my love of music and my desire to express myself in an artistic form. 

"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. " ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Edit: I've been thinking about something...it must of been really hard on the coords to reject people they personally knew. I can't imagine how I would handle that situation.